Red vs Blue: Worst Holiday Ever
by SupeyNinjaZora19
Summary: It's that stupid holiday that everyone goes crazy for: Valentine's Day. Simmons and Grif have a little chat about how much it sucks over a couple cans of beer. That's usually how things go. A dumb little fic that came to mind the other day. Rated T for drinking, cursing, depression, you know, all of that fun stuff, and OOC. So much OOC... Happy late V-Day!


Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Red vs. Blue, Rooster Teeth does... I wish I was a part of Rooster Teeth, though DX

Summary: It's that stupid holiday that everyone goes crazy for: Valentine's Day. Simmons and Grif have a little chat about how much it sucks over a couple cans of beer. That's usually how things go. A dumb little fic that came to mind the other day. Rated T for drinking, cursing, depression, you know, all of that fun stuff, and OOC. So much OOC... Happy late V-Day!

Warning: Cursing and junk, like getting drunk, depression, sadness... OCC too... I don't think that I got the Reds down, but that's okay... Kinda!

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><p>Chapter One<p>

Red Team

It wasn't that everyone hated Valentine's day... It was more like they despised it. And it wasn't that they just despised it, they seriously despised it. What was supposed to be a holiday of love and more love made all of the soldiers feel anger and hatred towards it.

For some, it brought sadness upon their souls, and stabbed pain into their hearts. Memories of the past tortured their souls and plagued their minds with harsh truths and 'what if' scenarios. The past was something that one could never run away from, and it seemed that this holiday brought back dark memories for all of the soldiers.

Valentine's Day was the worse holiday ever... Of all time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Red Base~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grif rolled over onto his bed lazily and stared at his ceiling with dark, dulling eyes. He knew what today was; everyone knew what today was. It was that goddamned holiday for all of those lovey dovey couples to buy each other flowers that would soon rot and chocolates that would soon turn into another form of 'chocolate.'

The orange soldier considered lying in bed for the entire day but decided against it. He was lazy, but his soul felt jumpy for some reason...

He got out of bed slowly and simply slipped on an orange shirt with some dark jogging pants and sighed heavily. He was already feeling more depressed than usual...

Grif walked out of his room, not even attempting to be quiet as he made his way to the kitchen. He pulled out a couple cans of beer and slumped into a chair by the table.

He simply sat there, staring at the silver cans before he turned his gaze to the ground. Why this holiday was affecting him so much, he didn't know, but it just made the orange soldier's heart crunch up in his chest... It felt as if a cold claw was gripping his heart tightly, making it harder to breathe.

The orange soldier sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He watched with little interest as Sarge entered the kitchen and snatched several cans that he had placed on the table before the older man went back to his room. Normally, Grif would make a big deal out of the theft and complain, but he didn't have it in him to whine about it.

Several minutes later, Simmons entered the kitchen, wearing a simple maroon tee-shirt and he too was wearing loose fitting pants. The man had several bags under his one human eye, and the other was a dark red, which obviously meant, as Grif could guess, that he was tired and wasn't 'here' at the moment.

Simmons grabbed a beer and sat across from Grif, staring at the tin can like Grif had several minutes ago. The beer was so tempting... Drown your sorrows away and make yourself numb to the pain, or simply keep what little sanity you have and face the pain like the stimulation trooper you are... Choices, choices...

Grif had been lost in his thoughts when the sound of a can being popped open had startled him out of his thoughts. He watched with curiosity as Simmons stared into the can glumly.

"... The holiday got ya down?" Grif asked, though the answer was quite clear.

"Obviously..." Simmons sighed and leaned back in his chair, "This holiday sucks."

Grif attempted to smile but found that he couldn't, "Yeah, it does..."

"I mean, what's the point of celebrating love if most relationships end up with heart break or a divorce? What's the point of buying flowers of they're just going to die after a week or what's the point of buying someone candy if it won't even last half an hour? O-or what's the point of buying dumb little Valentine cards that are cheaply made and are a waste of resources?"

Grif sighed a little. With all his years of working in the forces with Simmons, he knew that his rambling was something that would soothe the maroon soldier's jumping nerves. Being smart and talkative was just his thing.

"I dunno man, but whoever invented this crappy holiday is an idiot." Normally, Grif would reply with a snarky comment about how stupid Simmons was, but the orange soldier just couldn't find it in him to bite the other's head off. This day was just sucking what little energy he had in him.

"Actually, this holiday was invented by this guy who was called Valentine. He was supposedly a priest guy who married people back during the Roman Empire era or whatever. Back then, the emperor guy didn't want people to get married since they wouldn't want to leave them behind while they went to go fight in a war or whatever. Some letters were sent, and then boom, sucky holiday came out of it! There are many versions, but they end up the same way; he dies, everyone loves each other, the stupid fucking end! "

Grif rubbed his eyes tiredly, "... You know what? I can't even come up with a rude comment for that... So I'm just gonna open this can of beer, and drink it."

And that's exactly what he did. When he took the first sip, it tasted great and his mind begged for more, but his heart screamed at him to stop. Apparently, he wasn't to become a stuttering drunk just yet.

"So, why does this holiday have you so down?" Simmons asked cautiously and slowly, afraid if he was hitting any sensitive spots. He quickly looked down at his can of beer when Grif made eye contact with him. Hmm, alcohol is very shiny when the light reflects off of it... Very pretty...

The orange soldier sighed and looked down, "I dunno man... Every year, it's just the same shit over and over again... This day just gets me thinking about stuff..."

Simmons raised an eyebrow, "What kind of stuff?"

"Just stuff."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Grif held back a smile, "No."

"You sure?" Simmon's eyes glimmered as he raised his other eyebrow as the other was lowered.

"Yes."

The two had to take a moment to stifle their laughs and they both let out a long sigh. Oh, how those few words brought back so many memories…

"But seriously," Simmons asked, wanting to get back on subject. "Why does this holiday get you so down?"

Grif shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno man... Like I said, it just gets me thinking, and thinking isn't in my job description and it gets me tired and depressed like always, so here I am -" The orange soldier waved his right arm through the air as if he was showing the kitchen to Simmons, "-sitting here just thinking and drinking. Why's this day got you down?"

Simmons frowned a little. If Grif wasn't sharing his story, why should he? But then again, this is how the two usually were. Grif wouldn't talk that much (except he'd complain a lot, which he guessed it could be counted as talking) and Simmons was the one who did the talking. When it came to inner thoughts, it was the same system.

"I don't know, Grif... Like you, it gets me thinking... Life's too short and it passes by quickly, yet here we are, fighting and dying." Simmons bit his tongue, not knowing where he was going with this. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... That... Umm... I can't explain it."

Grif nodded his head, knowing what the other was trying to say and watched as the smarter soldier took a sip out of his beer. He watched as Simmons frowned a little before he took another sip.

"Soo... How's the beer?" He asked, wanting to start a conversation.

"Okay, I guess... I don't know, my taste buds are screwed up, remember? It's not like I can get drunk or anything. I don't have a real stomach or a small intestine either, so a portion of the ethanol in alcohol can't really get absorbed into my bloodstream and can't be carried into my brain. Oh, in case you didn't know, ethanol is a water soluble, made up of just two carbon atoms, six hydrogen atoms, an one oxygen atom, which means that it enters the blood stream and is there to be carried into many parts of the body, like the liver and the brain." When he saw Grif's look, he simply sighed and shook his head, "Point is: I can't get drunk."

Grif smiled weakly and scratched the back of his neck, "Oh yeah... Sorry about that, man..."

"It doesn't matter..." The taller man shrugged and held the can up to his lips, "It's better that you pretty much have most of my internal organs than I... You needed them at the time..."

Grif bit his lip and rested a hand on his chest. There was a large scar on his torso and on Simmons' also from when Sarge made Simmons part cyborg and gave most, practically all, of his remaining organs to Grif. They hadn't talked about the subject seriously just yet, but the two of them felt as if they should push it off to another date; one where they aren't too depressed or too buried deep in thoughts.

The two sat in an awkward silence, avoiding eye contact with each other and took little sips from their cans of beer. They avoided eye contact and either stared at the ceiling, out the window, at the floor, or at their silver cans of beer.

Grif was reaching for another can when he heard Simmons mutter, "I don't want to die alone."

The orange soldier blinked several times and stared at the other, taking a mental note on how Simmons's face became so dark, how his fists were clench, and how sad he looked. Grif knew that the moment was serious and tense.

"... What was that, Simmons?"

"I don't want to die alone..." The maroon soldier repeated. "I don't want to die an unmarried nerd who did nothing but kiss someone's ass all day... I-I want to get married to someone who loves me. I want to die by their side, not be unmarried and die on some unknown planet as a worthless piece of shit... I want to do what normal couples do, you know?"

Grif stared into Simmons' one human eye, "Y-yeah... I know man... I know exactly what you mean..." The orange soldier struggled to keep his voice steady and to keep his eyes from watering up. He knew exactly what Simmons had meant.

The two of them understood each other's pain; they understood that they would never find love and they understood that they would die alone in a battle field or something. They knew that they would forever be alone, never to find a true love and never to be buried next to the one they loved.

Slowly, the two reached for a can of beer and opened it at the same time with a loud 'Snap!'

Simmons raised his can of beer, "To forever being alone..."

"And to this stupid holiday that no one gives a shit about," Grif added as he raised his metal can also. The two shared a small toast before emptying the can's contents in one gulp.

Valentine's Day truly sucked.

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><p>Like I said, just a random fanfic that came to mind. At first, i just wanted to ignore it, but then I started writing it when I was supposed to be writing an essay X3 So, yeah... Sort of just a dumb doom and gloom fic for Valentine's Day... I kinda made this thing for fun since it was such a short time to work on it, but it was fun. I had meant to post this yesterday, but I didn't get enough time to!<p>

This was kinda the first time ever that I attempted to do the Reds Team! Or, Simmons and Grif! X3 Right now, since RvB has so many characters with different personalities, I'm thinking about trying to 'master' each of them. I like to think of this as a little experiment! I dunno, I'm kinda getting crazy on Fun Dip at the moment XD I'm gonna see if I can get another V-Day story out by Monday or something, whenever I get Internet access... Oh! And before I forget, the information with Simmons going crazy with information, I got that info from... Two websites that I had forgotten... Shoot..

A big thanks to **AnimeGirl144** for being a Beta for this story! It was greatly appreciated! =D Well, I don't have that much left to say, so I think it's-

**SHOUT OUT TIME! Red, Pinky, Abi and Mickey, Silver, Xion98, Jan, Ally and Ronnie, Melody, Weathergirl, Sissy, NinjagoZ, MoonBlazer, Sarcasm, Jess, Cody, IceLover, Michael, Alex, Zoey, and AnimeGirl 144! Thanks everyone!**

**Criticism**** and reviews are greatly appreciated! Also, how do you think that I portrayed the Reds? Anyways, thanks, and I hope that you had a great Valentine's day! =D hopefully, it was better than Grif's and Simmons'.**


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